we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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