Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
