I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Blood and glitter go together right?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
