So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
