This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
