I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
