mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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