we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
