I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
