we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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