he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
