you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
