what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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