but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
