dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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