you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
