there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
