that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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