I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
