i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
