Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
