what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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