i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so let's talk penis.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
