So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
