Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
