the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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