I'm really into asian looking animals
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
