We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
BRING THE BAGELS
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
