THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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