If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
