Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
