At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
