I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
one might say we're banned from that church
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
