the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
