I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Brb crying the tears of my youth
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
