Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
