I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
