Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I AM VODKA MAN
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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