i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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