Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
