u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
