I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
