the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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