My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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