My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
