Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
