you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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