i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
