so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she peed on how many people?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
