At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
