Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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